


The Haunting of James McGraw

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Community: trope_bingo, Crack, Gen, Ghost Hunters, Miranda Lives, Tall Tales, Trope Bingo Round 8, stop telling everyone I'm dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 11:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10098752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: John Silver tells a tall tale of the time he and Max had a ghost hunting business and met James McGraw.





	

"This is a true story," John Silver said, "of the haunting of James McGraw."

He paused, held up his empty glass. The waiting audience grumbled amongst themselves but finally a fresh pint of beer was provided. Silver's outlandish stories were worth the price of a few drinks and until the jukebox got fixed the pub was lacking other entertainment.

After a gulp of beer, Silver licked his lips. "We were in Providence at the time –"

"Rhode Island?" one of the patrons asked.

Silver eyed him with disdain. "Who is telling the story?"

"Sorry."

Silver cleared his throat. "Max and I had set up a ghost hunting business. There are a lot of supposed ghosts in Providence. Vampires, too, but that's not part of this story."

*

"This has to be it," Silver said, turning off the engine. The cottage was in the middle of nowhere and if it had rained recently they'd have had difficulty crossing the ford at the bottom of the hill. Mist clung to the hills in the distance.

"Atmospheric," Max said, climbing out of the car. She smoothed down her colourful top and patted at her hair. The large hoop earrings had tiny bells on them and jangled as she walked.

"You could almost believe it's actually haunted," Silver agreed. He pulled on his jacket with their logo embroidered over the breast pocket and picked up the ghost detector. It had a temperature sensor, electro-magnetic field detector function, and came equipped with lot of LEDs and alarms that made it look professional.

A car pulled up behind them and a tall man with reddish-brown hair got out. "Thank goodness you're here," he said. "James McGraw. I called you about the ghost."

Silver put on a concerned expression. "We came as soon as we could."

James pointed to the cottage. "I see her all the time," he said in a hushed tone. "She walks around the place, moving the books and whispering in my ear. Yesterday she was in the kitchen. Baking!"

Silver glanced at Max, who kept her expression neutral. This had been Silver's idea, born of beer and late-night TV, and his boast "We could do better than those wankers," but it was Max who had followed through and set up the business. Neither of them believed in ghosts; they'd talked about how they were duping the vulnerable and decided that the peace they bestowed when they "exorcised" a spirit was worth their fee.

"Baking," Silver repeated. Ghosts were often said to move items around but this was a new one. Maybe James was a sleepwalker. One of their clients had turned out to be haunting himself, getting up in the night and snacking from the fridge.

"Scones," James said. "She always used to make them for me."

Max gave a slow blink. "You know who the ghost is?"

"Yes. Her name was Miranda," James said. He put one hand over his eyes, swallowed. "It's all my fault."

Silver looked for assistance but Max lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "We'll handle this," Silver said, with authority he didn't feel. "We'll use our equipment to isolate the spirit and then Max will banish it from the property."

Some incense from her handbag, some chanting in Haitian Creole while she shook a rattle, and the house was cleansed.

"I don't like this," Max murmured as they entered the cottage. For her to admit fear put Silver on edge.

James refused to enter, standing near the door. The lounge was empty of spirits. Silver turned on the detector and moved it around, studying it intently. This business was ninety percent showmanship. Usually Max would now be saying she sensed a presence and come up with a name or backstory, but in this case James had identified the ghost.

Slowly Silver made his way to the kitchen, Max close behind. He turned to scan the cupboards on the far side of the room and froze. A woman, pale, with flour on her cheek, stared at him.

"What are you doing in here?" she demanded, brandishing the knife she held and Silver ran, almost knocking Max over in his haste, and barrelling into James as he reached the door.

"She's there, isn't she?" James asked as Max joined them. "Oh, God."

Miranda stalked across the lounge. "What is going on?"

"Ma'am," Max said calmly. "James hired us to exorcise a spirit from this property. You."

Miranda's eyes narrowed. "James McGraw, stop telling everyone I'm dead!"

*

"So she wasn't a ghost?"

"No," Silver said. "The cottage was left to her by her husband, but his lover, James, used to stay there with them sometimes. It was a complex relationship. He blamed Miranda for Thomas's death but when Miranda was mugged while visiting James in the city, he felt so guilty that he made up some story about her being dead and haunting him. Max gave Miranda the number of a family therapist she knew and off we went."

They hadn't returned the fee either, but that was by the by.

"And this is a true story?" The man was sceptical.

"You can ask Max when she's here next," Silver said. "She's never let me forget about the time I left her to fend off a vengeful spirit alone. That was the end of the ghost hunting business, I'm sorry to say. And that's when I came up with another great idea."

He held up his empty glass and waited for someone to supply him with another drink.

**Author's Note:**

> For Trope Bingo, round eight, prompt "tall tale"  
> Promo post at [tumblr](http://meridianrose.tumblr.com/post/158021942301)


End file.
